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Psychalgia Exhumed: A Poetry Book

A collection of 20 poems by Sanya E Walma.
Sometimes our potential for growth and our ability to understand ourselves is buried beneath internalized fears and repressed feelings.
Untying the mental knots that distort our true selves requires the willingness to embrace our most intimate anxieties.
This collection of poetry is based on unearthing innermost troubles, finding beauty behind emotional disorder, and learning to express oneself honestly.

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Born In A Storm

I planted my flowers in a storm without a center.
Everything they needed poured onto them from the wind.
The higher they grow, their roots go deeper,
And the more they feel the pouring sky above the heads.
They asked me when the rain would stop, and I answered,
Telling them they were planted in a storm without an end.
Since then my flowers have gotten quieter,
And I don't really know what they perceive or understand.
The answer was simple, but they seem desperate to comprehend.
What it means to be a flower is beyond me,
And beyond them, I'm beginning to suspect.
They were lost in the storm and looking for themselves.
Growing up and growing old, evolving in place.
Whatever meaning they may have, might blow by them perchance.
Unfortunately, they're all quite mad.

Falling For …

Cool, quiet,and still mornings; alone.
A chord striking, resonating, and going silent.
Pale light still warm enough to touch faces.
A pit in your stomach, nowhere to go.

Fall, fall, September;
Autumn sadness, stillness, 
Peace and horror.
Burning, burning, bonfires and leaves;
Passions singing, sang, and then falter.

You'll never know their love again.
The sky is beautiful, blissful, and so are you.

Softer, Deeper,

As beautiful as it is to cry,
It cuts so softly so much deeper
Since I gave up faking
And started listening to your whisper

Its smoother going down
But gets me so much faster now,
Those feelings that I'd missed
And that I pretended missed me somehow





Apples & Honey

Her every word is something sweet.
She speaks so sensibly and smiles,
And cares like caring is a treat
Too tempting to stay away from.

To taste her mind would nourish you,
And reason out those foolish tricks
That frightened you into pushing away
The parts of you you're missing.

And beauty hardly describes her face;
The life, the light behind her eyes
That permeates in any place
She goes to be alive in. 

She's sweet enough to drown in,
To swallow down until you're sick. 
It's hard to put the bottle down
When it insists you drink it.

Apples and honey make a snack
So tempting its hard to turn away.
As one should never lack for love,
Having lacked, it still gives me stomach pains.

Love Spelled With A Capital “E”

 Men, women, and persons;
You enigmas of violence, misery, sex, and boredom;
 How are you feeling?

To what end is your violence?
To what depth does your misery brood?
What comfort have you found in sex?
What madness does your boredom uproot?

If you're honest, I would guess, every answer, some way, stems from  love.
Acknowledge this with me if you expect my intimacy.

A Lovely Little Death

This is Death, my infinite pastime,

My plaything, my dalience.

It fucks me breathlessly into the great unknown,

And spits me out, and leaves me there.

God help us, goddamnit!

It wasn’t enough to make us feel alive?

To make us suffer so we want to feel alive?

We inherit a lust for beauty and are demanded to close our eyes?

What depth there is in darkness could never be enough.

Is it ever sweet enough to sleep? Well,…

Yes.

It is, sometimes,…

When I go to bed exhausted, my sleep screams with delight.

And the more I romaticise, the more attractive it seems.

So at the end of the day, I only hope that I’m weary,

Not from toil, or troubles, but from the ecstasy of a brilliant party.

We Talk Too Much

It was never over like I thought it was

Looking for myself and finding more of us

I don’t want to be that girl who can’t forget you

But I’m ready for you if you ever wanted to

We never really kissed as far as I recall

Somehow I’ve felt your lips and seen it all

I hate admitting that I think about you every day

There’s just too much I never got to put away

We talk so much, I’m thinking that I’m not alright

You haven’t heard me yet because you haven’t been in sight

I’m in a bed like always when you’re on my mind

I needed sleep, but it’s always you I seem to find

It’s over, past the date, so many years by now

Evidently I still need to feel about you somehow

I need to scream, I need to fuck, I need to fill a whole

If not with you then I don’t want to feel you anymore

I guess you should’ve never left me any hope

I’m going to cry about you now and hope to be alone

Mary

When I imagine you, My empathy makes a monster of your misery, One I’ve studied often in my dreams And more frequently discovered in reality. I wonder when it breathed, When spark and spleandor clashed that evening, And you saw what it had seen How it found you in your sleep.