Last Words

“Never contact me again.”

“Fine,” I said, and proceeded to verbally assault her, spitting my intoxicated childish insults in a rage, feeling hurt and betrayed she would react in such a way. My last words to her, and to this day I’m ashamed when I re-read that text and I’m painfully reminded of how stupid and petty I was in that state.

“I hope you sober up and realize what you’ve done.”

That one came the next day before I was awake. Upon waking and reading I denied my mistake. I couldn’t solely take the blame for this thing, when I considered the original text I hade made, quoting John Lennon innocently enough, something about “Love” that set her off so rapidly.

We don’t talk anymore,

And I can’t say that that isn’t how it should be, but I can’t help but regret what the last thing I said was. “Never contact me again,” she said, and I obeyed, not wanting to make myself a problem for her, but also not willing to admit the one I had made, knowing she’ll remember me by those last things I said.

It’s over forever now,

Unfortunately that’s just how it has to stay. I can’t replace or erase my regrets from that day, but I’ve so many regrets from the choices WE’D made, and too many fond memories that get in the way. If she wants to hate me I guess that that’s fine. I can’t help but feel I still love her some times.

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